My Morning Wooten

First the stones. Later the love.

Rite Aid pharmacy rolls out over-the-counter paternity tests at its 4,300 stores in 30 states. The paternity test costs $29 and comes with a $119 lab processing fee. Any male suspect should be legally required to submit to testing.

The difference between a company rolling out an innovative product and the government using innovation willy-nilly? The Fourth Amendment.

Who’d have thought it? France is expected to announce that it will double, to 1,000, its commitment of troops to Afghanistan. “We cannot afford to lose Afghanistan,” President Nicholas Sarkozy told the British Parliament. “Whatever the cost, whatever the expense, we cannot afford it.” I could warm to this guy. Of course, he could have included Iraq, too.

Of course he didn't say Iraq because unlike Afghanistan France has never had troops there. Basic math says doubling zero still results in zero. Of course this positive news does harken to the halcyon days where something like 90% of the world (including Iran!) supported our cause. Good times.

The U.S. Supreme Court got it right in telling Texas it could ignore President Bush and an international court. Both tried to instruct Texas to grant a new hearing for a Mexican now on death row for killing two teenagers 15 years ago. Local police prevented Jose Ernesto Medellin from consulting with Mexican diplomats. Under the Constitution the president executes laws but can’t make them, wrote Chief Justice John Roberts.

I'm going to let Sara handle this one. "What, you thought the Court was going to actually tell him he had to stop unconstitutionally spying on Americans without a warrant, issuing signing statements that negate the laws he passes, or holding in Gitmo in perpetuity thousands of people who happened to be in Afghanistan at the wrong time? Silly wabbit. This is the Roberts Court, and it will only smack down Bush when he does truly stupid out of character sh*t like try to help a guy on death row. In Texas."

The Consumer Federation of America gets reams of free publicity for its Big Oil is Bad message by predicting gas will be 75 cents a gallon higher before Memorial Day. The group could just as accurately predict where the stock market will be by Memorial Day.

For those playing Jim Non-Sequiter Bingo, B-42!

Let’s see. Should I believe today in global warming or, as the headline declares, that “Morale at CDC shows healthy improvement.” Hmmm. Global warming. It’s more likely.

And in the very next paragraph Copy Editor Jim! Wait, I'm not sure this one makes any sense either. O-32!

That's enough for today. I've got to spin something up on the APC panel. Those who go to bed at a decent hour already beat me.