Thursday, April 09, 2009

Race Of Fools 2009 - Elephants In Godfrey


The story of an underground road rally as told by the navigator of a cranky '64 Sunbeam Alpine.

To read Part I, go here.

Eventually we passed through the wreckage of broken yard sale dreams but the experience left Captain Ballard muttering. He began gobbling what appeared to be either tic tacs or possibly white crosses.

I attempted to steer us onto the bypass but he insisted it was a highway and that was just not allowed. Despite the temptation to smack sense into him, I charted a side street course. It was simply too early for violence.

We arrived at the botanical garden just behind the Mercedes and frantically searched for the Kugel Fountain. Dozens of steps later, with generous help from the resident Garden Club of Georgia members, we found the object and snapped the appropriate picture.

I wanted to buy some begonias to adorn our ride but the Captain screeched there was no time.

We then reached a mission crossroad.

Our choices were to proceed towards Omaha Springs via either Godfrey or Tignall. Godfrey appeared to be a more direct route and travelling to anything so weirdly named as Tignall was unthinkable.

The Sunbeam puttered past the pastures of Oconee County on the way to Madison and points beyond.

Our clue stated we had to take a picture of an elephant in a metal warehouse.

As we approached the outskirts of Godfrey, it was decided to leverage the local knowledge. Fortunately, a man hauling hay appeared on the side of the road.

He stared at the strange little car and fortunately for its navigator didn't let loose a hail of bullets as an obvious maniac emerged from the cockpit and sprinted towards his truck.

"We're looking for the elephant!", I wailed.

"The whut?", he responded.

"The elephant, man! The elephant!"

Blank stare.

"For gods sake where in town is there a metal warehouse?".

"Uh, yeah. There's a big metal building down by the tracks"

"Many thanks".

We drove to the other side of Godfrey (about half a mile) and indeed a fabricated metal building sat attached to the ubiquitous general store.

A man and his young daughter stood near the entrance. She promptly pointed at the psychedelic roadster and sputtered, "what the hell is that?"

Ballard responded, "It's a '64 Sunbeam Alpine..."

"There's no time", I whimpered, "Have you seen the elephant?"

"It's in there", she pointed Alice in Wonderland-like at the dark door.

Inside lay possibly the grandest taxidermy shop in the whole wide world. And on one wall was the head of an elephant.

"There's a bigger one through there", the little girl, who had followed us, pointed again.

In the next room was a full sized, stuffed bull African elephant.

Stunned at the weirdness of it all, I gently shoved the near catatonic Ballard in front of the monstrosity and snapped the required photograph.

We thanked Alice and her diddy, then sped away towards Omaha Springs and glory.

To continue to Part III, go here.

4 comments:

Stefan said...

oh my, wonderfulness!

DaleC said...

In my "Omega Man" fantasy, I wonder what kind of weirdness I will find hidden behind the walls of normally innocuous buildings. A stuffed bull elephant in rural Georgia has never quite made it into my mind.

Catherine said...

"There's a bigger one through there", the little girl, who had followed us, pointed again.

I love this image.

Great story so far. Can't wait to read more.

Amber Rhea said...

Love this series of posts. Rural Georgia is full of so many wondrous oddities.

Word verification: nonstori. Ha!