Friday, May 08, 2009

My Morning Wooten

The other day Jim indicated he believed the guiding light for the Republican Party should be a hypocritical hillbilly heroin addict instead of a genuine war hero. At that point, I asked myself, "Isn't it time to just shoot this dog?" But what would be the fun in that?

Here we go.
The U.S. Senate wisely rejects a bill that would allow bankruptcy judges to “cram down” mortgage rates. You can bet that the rate on your next mortgage would be higher to cover the risk had it passed. A dozen Democrats joined Republicans to vote it down.
Can't disagree there. That's not a very fun start.
Chicken of the Sea, mindful that Al Gore’s global warming projections will make Vidalia and Lyons seacoast towns, announces that it’ll build a $20 million tuna packing factory employing 200 about 110 miles inland, in Lyons. Until the fishing ships are able to dock in Lyons, the tuna will be shipped in frozen. About 65-70 million years ago, Macon was on the coast. Check with me soon for beach front property in Jacksonville, Ga.
There we go. Only Jim could tie a new cannery in Lyons to global warming. By the way, Al Gore never mentioned danger for the residents of the Greater Toombs County Metro Area. He did mention the fact that about 1 billion people live close enough to a body of water to be affected by unchecked global warming. And the vast majority can't afford a beach house in Jacksonville. The real problem is most of them can't afford a U-Haul.
Headline: “French excel at leisure.” Another from Yahoo: “Kirstie Alley tells how she gained 83 pounds.” A reminder: News is what people don’t know.
Next, Jim tell of the pleasures of life before all these wireless telegraphs he sees all the young'uns frantically tapping. Ol' Sam Morse should have left well enough alone, I tell ya!
You’re never too old to learn. On Tuesday, for example, I learned never to park a white car under a mulberry tree where hungry birds are gorging.
News is what people don't know. Unless you're Jim. And want to break the blather with an amusing anecdote. Perhaps the band of right wingers are available to wash their dear leader's stained Tin Lizzie.
The liberal community activist group ACORN had best register Georgia’s illegals before Jan. 1. Under a law signed this week by Gov. Sonny Perdue, proof of citizenship will be required after that date. Acceptable proof: a driver’s license, birth certificate, U.S. passport, U.S. naturalization documents or a Bureau of Indian Affairs card.
ACORN STOLE THE ELECTION! Acorns and Mulberrys - pure evil. Tree and their terrible spawn. Will the madness never stop? Seriously, though. I don't think you have to be a citizen to have a driver's license. Is that really one of the acceptable documents?
Which is preferable — a Senate with 30 Jack Kemps or 60 Arlen Specters? The Kemps, no doubt. Over time, 30 Kemps could persuade the country to alter its course. The Specters would get the majority periodically, but you’d little notice the difference.
I would love to have 30 Jack Kemps. However, since on many issues he was a social moderate, do you really believe he'd get a big ol' hug from Jim, his band of right wingers, the hillbilly heroin addict and local leper colony entrepenuer Erick Erickson? Me neither.


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