My Morning Wooten: WHA?

As I read Wooten, I keep a mental tally of issues where we agree, those where we disagree and those where I just don't know from where the hell he is coming. Maybe it's early. Maybe I stayed up too late. But this morning's column is so full of weirdness, my conscious mind is leaking oil.

The U.S. Supreme Court may have OK’d the practice of ramming the vehicles of fleeing suspects to end high-speed chases, but the next General Assembly should spell out in law specific circumstances under which such tactics can be used. Police shouldn’t be ramming speeders, for example, as was the case when a former Coweta deputy rammed a fleeing Cadillac on a two-lane, rain-slicked road.

Wait a minute. Wooten is accusatory towards a police officer? Tacitly defending a criminal? And disagreeing with the conservative led Supreme Court? World done gone upside down!

Headline: “I-75/575 price tag hits $4 billion.” Act. There’s no time to waste. In 20 years, it’ll seem cheap. Fix congestion.

Ahhhhh, there's my Jim. I do love how self-described "fiscal conservatives" roll over like newborn kittens when the DOT comes strokin'. No amount of spending is too shocking.

I’m not convinced that a governor who rides down the highway at 90 miles per hour without a seat belt — Jon Corzine of New Jersey — has the judgment to be governor. It is, I suppose, evidence that liberals feel secure in government’s arm no matter the driver or speed.

Conveniently omitted: Corzine admitted he was stupid. Expressed contrition. Took responsibility for his idiocy by paying all the hospital bills out of his own pocket. The ability to somehow tie this liberal ideaology reminds me of certain cognitive dissonances that make a person scratch his head when his foot itches. Or people who attack one country when the enemy is in another.

Wonder how many protesters gathered last Sunday to demand an end to violence in Darfur could find Sudan on a map? All, surely.

Can you, Jim?

Too much concrete, asphalt and rooftops in Metro Atlanta? Require bigger lots, thereby preserving trees and soil surface or, as in South Fulton, density tied to green space. There, in the 2,000-acre Friendship Village project, almost 1,300 acres is preserved as green space. The General Assembly should make green space preservation top priority in local consideration of high-density zoning.

Oh my! Weird Jim is back! Stricter government regulation? Abridging private property rights? The General Assembly stepping in on local zoning? Weirdness abounds!

Holy Toledo! I’m agreeing with state Sen. Vincent Fort, a most liberal Atlanta Democrat. Said he of the $150,000 inserted into the state budget to hire a “jobs advocate” in Lt. Gov. Casey Cagle’s office to promote economic development and to act as a “liaison” to corporations: “I’m not convinced this jobs advocate will bring anything new and dynamic to the mix except to let the lieutenant governor keep a campaign promise.” Too mild, Vince. It’s a pointless expenditure. An unnecessary duplication of executive branch functions.

Okay, that's it. Wooten is agreeing with Vincent Fort. Game. Set. Match. There are other more traditional Wooten-like utterances this morning, but this one has caused my soul to bleed and I cannot continue. Forgive me, bubba, I just don't have the constitution. Thank God, it's the weekend!