Gonzo Lawmakers - Day 29

A daily recap of the Georgia Public Broadcasting show "Lawmakers". The show airs weekdays at 7:00pm with a replay at 5:30am the following weekday.

Day 29

* Let's do the time warp again! This is actually the recap from Tuesday's show but it's now Thursday but there was no show today because there was a recess so I think I'm caught up. But I'm not sure. Having said that, tomorrow is crossover day which is when all hell breaks loose so (now imagine Annie Savoy saying this part) in a cosmic sort of manner maybe none of this even matters. Let's play ball.

* Gold Dome - check. Anchors - check. And away we go!

* We go straight to a live shot of the Senate Chamber where legislating is still happening! The boys and gals must have worked late tuesday. How exciting! Take that Doug Richards!

* Amended budget once again passed something. Conference committee this time. Time for Senators to pat themselves on the back.

* Fair Lending Act. Cue Senator Fort. Wait. There's a Republican sponsor? I must be confused. Oh there's Fort. He's upset that people who get loans they shouldn't have got in the first place can't sue if the loan they shouldn't have got gets sold to a third party who probably shouldn't have got it either. Or something like that. It's called assignee liability. Google it.

* First live shot and we've moved to a different section of Hogwarts. And the first live bobblehead is not one of the usual gaggle - it's Evan Seitz. He promptly fumbles the open to the point of gurgling with his tongue out. He's talking about some food safety bill but honestly right now I can't get past the fact we may be witnessing an Albert Brooks on "Broadcast News" moment.

* In all seriousness, I heard about this one during my recent journeys. In a sense it deputizes local health department officials as food inspectors. If they find what they think is a violation, they can summon in the real deal. Pretty innovative thinking for the legislature.

* Okay, Evan survived. No word if he required a massive dose of pancake during the cutaway.

* Some Republicans wanted to tack sales tax back on food. And Speaker Pro Tem Burkhalter actually had the stones to defend the move. You seriously have to wonder about their sanity. Or Democratic moles. Bottom line - it ain't even gonna make it out of committee. Today's Monty Python moment has been brought to you by the letter L, the letter S and the letter D.

* Here's are annual english only bill. This year's version - driver's license exams. I swear if D.A. King appears on my screen, I'm going to throw something.

* Minoo!

* Sen. Nan Orrock (D-I've Seen Her Bowl) is agin it. Can't say I'm shocked. Her reasoning is fascinating. Apparently we make accomodations for the illiterate (which ironically is a hard word to spell), so why would we not provide for the literate in a different language. I must say, that's a new one. A point of personal priveledge from your humble scribe - presenting the griftdrift argument - how will these hoopleheads feel if in 30 years Spanish becomes the majority language and legislatures start requiring every sign/test/lobbyists check be presented in Spanish only?

* There's a thing about one of those fees on your phone bill. It's the one that in the 70s was used to get phone lines out to the country folk. Some of the rural reps - wait a minute, one of these "rural" reps is Ron Stephens from Savannah. Savannah? Anyway, they don't want it removed because it apparently creates a safety net for whatever local yokel phone companies are left.

* Bad copy abounds. Now Dave is stumbling over his lines.

* We're in the rapid fire segment. Today's fun is with criminal law. Looks like a bunch of technical clean up.

* We're going to vote on a new fee. $10 on your car tag to fund a trauma network. I thought that's what Super Speeder was for. Wow! That segment went fast. Suddenly everything is flying by. Maybe a fist fight is happening on the live Senate feed and they are desperately trying to spool it up.

* Tiana Fernandez live from Hogwarts. We're going to test all prisoners for HIV when they are released. Okay. What exactly are we going to do with that information? This question is never answered.

* Earnest Dan Weber sighting. Flipping pages this time. Earnestly.

* Now I'm starting to think the teleprompter is on fire. Nwandi is also stumbling. Maybe the transmission is slipping causing the thing to wildly gyrate at various speeds.

* I had to listen to this twice. Something about deterring metal theft. I thought he said mental theft at first. But now I've got it figured out - I think. It's about crackheads stealing copper, right?

* Truth in Music Advertising Act. Do what? Even Dave is cracking up. Oh good lord, it's just another excuse for their lame ass hazing of a freshman Senator. In this case it's Senator John Crosby who's about 100 years old. I'd give him a crisp five dollar bill if he pulled his belt off and threatened to pull this chamber to the side of the road. The bill requires anyone impersonating a singer, living or dead, to inform an audience they are not the real thing. I seriously cannot make this stuff up.

* Vote in the poll!

* Leadership series - David Adelman. I've been looking forward to this one. They're going to take about the stimulating. They've got the "smartest man in the Senate" at their beck and call and we have to hear about this old news? Let's get to stem cells! No stem cells. Disappointing. Sen. Adelman? Give griftdrift a call. I've got some additional questions.

* DHR restructuring. We talked about this earlier. It makes a lot of sense. Thus it passed overwhelmingly.

* There's a bill about when pharmacists can use generics instead of brand name drugs. This brought the apparent army of pharmacists legislators to the well. The bill would require the pharma to honor a doctor's request for "brand only". The pill pushers win and it goes down to defeat.

* Dave informs me there will be no Lawmakers tomorrow. Which actually was yesterday because now is today which is crossover day which means we're back tomorrow. I'm so confused. I need some of whatever Burkhalter was drinking.