Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Oh, What Changes You Will See

Bloody entrails on the table isn't evidence of an impending cure - it is evidence of a slow, painful evisceration.

But don't tell AJC Editor Julia Wallace.

With the ashes of the latest round of layoffs still warm, she has the audacity to use the word "proud" to describe the impending relaunch of the paper.

Apparently this "newsy" "flashy" new paper (didn't we already go through this with Ron Martin?) will be more responsive and local.

On the responsive front, Ms. Wallace chose to address her dwindling readers directly. Online. On Sunday. The one day where people actually still sit and clutch their gobs of dead tree.

But Ms. Wallace did more than navel gaze. She also promised to respond to comments and questions. Which she did. Exactly five times. Out of over 100 comments. And after explaining how endorsements work (gosh, I've never heard that pablum explanation via one of her Public Editor golems before), commenting was closed.

On the local front, things are even more Pythonesque.

A few days ago, an AJC Online headline screeched that a driver in a fatal accident had been charged. Surely, it must be a story of the horrific hit and run on Riverdale Rd.

No. It was in Arizona.

Then today, the always tittilating headline of an exotic dance taking a stiletto to the head of a coworker appears. Gosh, things must be getting a little wild at the Pink Pony.

Or in Ohio.

Salacious headlines to lure readers deeper into stories that have jack squat to do with Atlanta.

It makes one wonder how much of the alledged $1 million a week is spent on the latest hip and trendy consultants who hypnotize with subtle purrings of clicks per million and sticky pages.

Meanwhile, blood continues to flow on Marietta Street and all we hear is the next cut will be the cure. There is a certainty in those words - cut enough and the patient disappears - no longing needing restorative therapy.


Rusty said...

I'm disappointed there wasn't an interpretive dance.

Grayson: Atlanta, GA said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Grayson: Atlanta, GA said...

I'll go down to Marietta St. and do my Julia "The Undertaker" Wallace interpretive dance routine only if:

a.) Someone puts it on YouTube. (I can't do everything by myself.)

b.) Amber brings her pole and lends me one of those adorable shorty-short outfits.

Rusty said...

Amber sold the pole unfortunately, though she may get another one. You'll have to talk to her about the outfit, but I've got a camera!

You also could dress as Scarlett. Might be funnier like that anyway.

Rusty said...

may = will ... Jesus, none of us can proofread our damn comments today

Grayson: Atlanta, GA said...

Even the sports media folk are weighing-in on the madness of Julia Wallace:

Grayson: Atlanta, GA said...

Oh Rusty. You shouldn't tempt me with such divine street theater possibilities!

Rusty said...

Would this sweeten the pot?

We could hire a barber shop quartet to put Julia Wallace's business plan to music, so you'll have something to dance to.

Grayson: Atlanta, GA said...

We need to hold a casting call: for a Rhett Butler and a Mammy. And at least one Yankee soldier to come in and interpret the Wallace business plan as an essential part of Sherman's March.

Sara said...

Did y'all get high together today?

Rusty said...

Not together.

Anonymous said...

The impending Sunday relaunch... that would be the relaunch project whose project chief (of two years) took the most recent buyout? Yeah, that's an endorsement.

Grayson: Atlanta, GA said...

And I didn't get high today at all 'cause my kid hid my bong and I still can't find it. She said weed was making me forget to take her to the mall.

Jen said...

I work down the street from AJC, so let me know and I'll be there to hold a sign - or something.