Wednesday, February 20, 2008

On The Border

I’m out on the border, I’m walkin’ the line
Don’t you tell me ’bout your law and order
I’m try’n’ to change this water to wine. ~Henley/Frey

Now hold your laughter for a moment. Sen. Shafer has actually explained to me his resolution to shift our border northward into Tennessee and I have to admit it makes a strange sort of sense.

But I leave that particular conundrum to those who are more learned. No, in this time of uncertainty, when we are asea in a state of confusion, I believe it is my duty, gentle readers, to bring you comfort.

Calm your minds. For we are not alone.

In honor of the Senate's passage of the border resolution, I give you a list of other border irregularities in the U.S.

The Kentucky Bend - Credit for this one goes to my good friends Catherine and Jerry. Who inform me the state of Kentucky actually sends road crews over to the isolated enclave to work on the pavement.

The Northwest Angle - Make sure you check out the picture of the Customs Office. I wonder if the Minutemen have an outpost.

The Alburgh Tongue - Yes, dears. Vermont is a very strange place.

Carter Lake - Apparently there's a piece of Iowa in Nebraska. Latest reports show Nebraska unperturbed.

The Sullivan Line - Parts of Missouri are not Missouri. Parts of Iowa are not Iowa. And this horror led to the Honey War in which the sherrif was arrested and three beehives were cut up. Not kidding.

So you better watch out Tennessee! We know you got bees and we know what to do with them!



Rusty said...

There's also Petoria.

Blackjackk said...

My favorite was always Otisburg

Anonymous said...

Hey, Tennessee already has an Offset--the error in the eastern survey between Virginia and North Carolina (look up Offset, TN on a map) so maybe PumpkinHead Purdue can propose another offset. Not that we want any of that nuclear cooling water that TVA controls for drinking water. We just want to say "growth isn't the problem. Keep those out-of-staters coming." A privy in every cul de sac. Who needs running water--poultry can grow in polluted water, and adding 15% salt water when processing meat called natural is allowed by our Congressman Deal's definitions of organic and natural food. Pumkinhead has brought us Chinese food companies, as they have found GA to be as unregulated as GuangDong.