Thursday, March 05, 2009

Gonzo Lawmakers - Day 26

A daily recap of the Georgia Public Broadcasting show "Lawmakers". The show airs weekdays at 7:00pm with a replay at 5:30am the following weekday.

Day 26

* Thank God it's back on TV. We're going deep into the night and we will probably talk about Jesus and liquor.

* Top story. Math and science teachers get a raise. I will attempt to not include booze and idiocy in every segment and lord knows teachers gettin' some is a good thing, but really? This is the top story? This is why crap ass back room shenanigans happen year after year after year. No one knows how deep the sludge grows because these "gatekeepers of Democracy" never talk about it. Pissing in the wind is too gentle a description.

* Tax exemptions for Delta. WHOOPEE! How startling that both Republicans and Democrats rose to thump their chests and talk about the good works accomplished today.

* First live shot. We still have the Hogwarts background. It's about a Senate committee meeting. Surely it is about liquor and Jesus? No. It's about a little window dressing to cover up those bad 'uns who didn't pay their taxes. Matthew 22:21

* Sen. Johnson took time out of his busy day (perhaps he had some left over time after skipping out of certain committee meetings) to lecture Sen. Robert Brown about paying taxes. Matthew 7:1

* A technical bill about when judges can allow a motion which leads to a discussion on how we can impeach some more judges. Something we haven't done in decades Now that's what I'm talking about. That's some hard core legislatin'.

* A bill to allow kids to ride their bikes on the sidewalk! Who knew it was against the law to ride your bike on the sidewalk? Let them roam in the streets I say! Let the weak be weeded out by the fast moving evolutionary forces of Atlanta traffic! No, no, we can't have that because we are definitely doing God's work now. Mark 10:13-16

* Minoo. But frankly I cannot get excited at this point. My heart is too filled with the despair of Job.

* Doubling the homestead exemption failed in the House. Perhaps they were distracted by the plight of children on bicycles.

* And right when we should move into the weirdness of Revelation, John Douglas once again submits a bill that makes sense. Then, I swear by all that is holy, they passed a bill to approve a website. They passed 11 bills on the floor of the Senate today yet we have not heard one peep about the political hot potato that could not claw its way out of committee. But we do have b-roll of Earnest Dan Weber listening to some bill about forclosure fees including who cuts the ever loving yard.

* Emily Banks live shot. The House passed an almost identical bill to the Senate bill requiring proof of citizenship to register to vote. Luke 14:12-14

* On the road again. Senate Democrats took to the road to talk to people about the stimulating. Which means they went to the local library to talk to some poor soul who can't find a job. Then they held a town hall. And there's Robert Brown again. Perhaps the dude who was using the library computer can show him how easy it is to file a tax form online.

* Leadership Interview. Mark Burkhalter. He's seriously going to talk about breaking Milton County out of Fulton County. To learn why this is funny, read why Milton was originally absorbed into Fulton.

* Not one question about how they would opt out of Fulton's obligation to Grady. Not one question about how they would opt out of MARTA. The next time some idiot whines about GPB being biased, I'm going to take one of the softballs served tonight and jam it as far up that idiot's nostril as physics will allow.

* More testimony about English only drivers license tests. The sponsor just pointed out that driver's need to be able to read if cow's are crossing the road. Lawmakers - sponsored by Monty Python.

* It was PB&J Day. And the President of the Georgia Farm Bureau is now talking. And his name is Zippy. I give up.

* One of the dangers of familiarity is the seeping inability to bring the harsh when it is needed. Over the past 26 days, Dave, Nwandi, Valerie, Brittany, Minoo and Secret Squirrel have become nightly companions and in a weird way, friends, but even friends fail and tonight Lawmakers fell flat on its face.

Today, for the third year in a row, the people of Georgia were denied the opportunity to choose whether they would like to purchase a six-pack or a bottle of wine on Sunday. I doubt you heard about it on the 6:00 news. I doubt it'll rate much mention in the AJC tomorrow. However, one would think the one vehicle which is allowed the opportunity to educate the public about how lawmakers use byzantine parliamentary procedure to quietly euthanize policy would at least find a moment to make mention.

Instead, they talked about the various recipes for peanuts.


SavRed said...

I guess I'll keep getting my PBRs on Saturday and feel the hot sting of that inconvinience.

Good job!

Unknown said...

Yep, illegal to ride on the sidewalk. Don't worry, except for us cycling advocates, damned near nobody else knew that either.

In the eyes of the law, a bike is a motorcycle is a car and all traffic laws apply.